‘What A Time To Be Alone’

Given the current corona pandemic we are obliged to self-isolate but for some of us single folk this means doing so alone. At first I found this particularly difficult because I suffer with bipolar and generalised anxiety disorder (GAD). In addition, I am now sober and so no longer wish to turn to illicit substances to numb or distract myself from the present moment. Battling with mental ill health and throughout my sobriety journey, my sisters, mother and grandmother have been a tremendous support, an emotional safety net. Furthermore, I also relied on the assistance of my local drugs and alcohol services for support. Of course I have called and FaceTimed my family and had ‘Zoom’ meetings with the recovery group but I am nonetheless on my own.

I want to be as honest and as transparent as possible and so for me it was initially a very lonely time although as time passed I began to wonder whether being alone is really a bad thing? After I accepted the fact that this was the way things had to be, it became a lot easier. At first the days were long and arduous but as I adapted my routine, found things of interest and picked up new hobbies each day became easier. I made the decision that this would be a period of self improvement and that I would turn this negative into a positive and come out the other end of it feeling better than I did before.

Bolstering how I was feeling, I read a really interesting article with Chiddie Eggerue aka ‘The Slumflower’ whereby she says that self-isolation can be an opportunity for self-improvement. I could not agree more, she goes on to say ”Truthfully, seeing so many people lamenting over having to self-isolate without their boyfriend or their partner, or seeing a lot of straight women saying they’re waking up every day feeling bereaved about not being able to see their partner, made me realise how free I am, because I don’t feel that way about men.” Furthermore, ”I’ve allowed myself to cultivate a freedom where the presence or absence of a man in my life doesn’t affect the quality of it, and it shouldn’t”. I have to agree, I feel exactly the same way.

As part of my evolution, personally I have found that practicing self care and self love is of paramount importance. You have to be able to be alone with your own thoughts and enjoy your own company. I mean speaking plainly, if you don’t want to spend time with yourself then why would anyone else. I’m taking this time to really do the work, emotionally, mentally and physically. Just for instance I am making it a priority to meditate, journal, read, write, cook and eat good nutritious food, exercise where possible. The list goes on but what I really want to say is try not to feel bad if you are on your own. Use this time wisely and work on yourself so that you feel calm and content in your own company. With a bit of grit it can be done and I am confident that on the other side of this you will be a whole lot happier for having done so.

Always curious and forever intrigued, I would love to know how all of you are getting on with self-isolation? Be it alone, with family members or friends. Whatever your situation may be, how are you feeling? What tips or advice do you have for getting through this challenging time? Of course I would just love to hear from you!

R x

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