So I’m a young woman navigating my way through a life time of severe anxiety and periods of desperate depression. I also have experience in that I am from a family who have a long history of mental health issues. My great grandfather was admitted into an asylum at the tender age of thirty one, became institutionalised and never came out. He lived and died there and was buried in the hospital grounds. I don’t want this to be a case of my cat is blacker so let me tell you a little bit more about where I’m at right now and what I want to do.
From a young age, a symptom of my mental ill health has been that of self medicating and consequentially that of addiction. I have used an extensive array of drugs recreationally but for many years what has been a serious problem of mine is that of prescribed painkillers, namely, opiates. For some time now I have been on a journey of self discovery and true transformation and I am now pleased to say that I am ‘clean’ and very much sober. This came to me in the form of treatment in the community and so with the support of my caseworker, I now lead a semblance of a normal, everyday functioning life.
Although, please do not confuse this issue in that while I am not defined by my illness I do not however want to rid myself of the disease either. I am an addict, this much I know, but I am now one who is in a healthy stage of recovery. After many years of soaring highs and devastating lows, I have come to accept that it is part of what makes me, it is a part who I am, part of my personality even. I’ve always been quite obsessive by nature, my mother described me as an all or nothing girl. You either have all of me or absolutely nothing.
On that note, it could be argued that sometimes our strengths derive from our greatest weaknesses. Out of true disaster and devastation, positivity and life can emerge. Things can grow and so it is our role and responsibility to nurture and ensure that they truly blossom. That is exactly what I’m trying to do here, I know what it feels like to feel fragile and quite frankly, broken. Albeit, this delicate flower needs sunlight and watering every day. Sing to it even! I refuse to let all of this beat me and I will always fight even if that means small steps in the form of abstinence and self care.
My aim is to create an open platform, for women and men alike, whereby we can communicate and interact with one another in a warm and welcoming environment. With posts there will be opportunity to talk and offer up our views and opinions generating discussion and debate. Of course I want to contribute but I also want to be there just to listen. Lend an ear as I know a sympathetic one can be hard to find, especially when it comes to matters of mental health and addiction. I’m tired of the stigma! I want people to be able to talk openly and honestly about their experiences.
In a celebratory manner I would also like to provide a knowledgeable and informed platform where we can come together and communicate, collaborate and congregate as a cohesive collective. I know that’s a lot of ‘C’s but stay with me 😉 I aim to publicise all of our efforts and endeavours, the work that we’re producing and all of our amazing achievements. I just know that we have so much to be proud of.
Always curious and forever intrigued I would love to hear your thoughts on my posts and page. Please do say hello and drop me a line, I would love to hear from you!
All thoughts and opinions are my very much my own and do not reflect that of any other individual or organisation. I am not a medically trained individual, a mental health professional or drug specialist and any information offered up should not be a substitute for medical or professional advice. Furthermore, if you are experiencing difficulties with your mental health, enduring trauma, experiencing abuse, drug misuse or anything else of this nature then I strongly recommend that you seek the appropriate professional care.